Bad Art

Prof Approved
Prof Approved you know it's weird

With this inimitible stamp (seriously, no one’s broken the quantum puzzle that maintains its uniqueness) you know it’s… definitely weird, maybe dangerous. OK. Probably dangerous, unless you wrote the manual. Step clear 🤪!

Prof Pink dimension
Prof Pink dimension vivid

Dimensional portals are a part-time party hobby.

Prof Leapkick
Prof Leapkick a largely improbable vector

We presume this is astonishing effort, and not some Pythonesque tilted camera work, but all we know is that The Prof survived this.

Prof Deutsch
Prof Deutsch not yet, no

The Prof doesn’t speak German. Yet. That doesn’t stop him from experimenting wildly and badly.

Prof Art
Prof Art larger than life

A giant in the mind of very, very small beings, such as interdimensional travlers or shrink ray enthusiasts, The Prof looms with large jacket collars and an untameable head of hair. There’s really no distinction between bob and beard, and those eyebrows… such majesty.

tentacles meta
tentacles meta again, cleaned up

It’s less scary when it looks like a vinyl sticker, I think.

Killbot meta
Killbot meta menace athwart the way

I thought I’d posted the messy original, but I haven’t, so you can’t see how much cleaned up this is. It is though. Really. Much scarier.

Small person of POWER
Small person of POWER Not so small anymore!

Once just small, just lines on paper, now radiant with liminal power in an interstitial space! +10 Goth Points!

Panic fluff meta
Panic fluff meta cleaaan

It’s like they’re fresh from the dryer! Maybe that ride is why they look so freaked out!

Bubble bot meta
Bubble bot meta smooooothed

Check out this bad boy! He’s so smooooth now. And with a little bit of “looks liek he was arted in grease pen. So suitable for a walking oil can!

Ancient evil helm, meta
Ancient evil helm, meta now, in color!

This section is about Doing Something with a sketch. Cleaning it up, adding color, what have you. You’ve seen this before in the collection, but never in these stunning, Fall colors! 👏😲

Victor mech
Victor mech just badass

This is clearly a Victor. A long time ago I went to a gaming convention and used one of these to rout the opposition. It’s been one of my favorites since.

Big autocannon mech 2
Big autocannon mech 2 it's comin' right fur us!

In a minute I’ll explain why I like this One Arm Is Just A Big Gun design so much.

Starmech head
Starmech head full franchise bullshit

This is the answer to “what if my shit was in Ultraman or Power Rangers?” eek.

Pseudo Hachetman mech
Pseudo Hachetman mech closing the gap

This is a straight up Hachetman reference in homage to that amazing scene in the BattleTech novels where Kai Allard-Liao pilots one against the Jade Falcons in the Second Battle of Twycross.

Yeah, it also has that elongated head I like so much because of the “Aliens” xenomorphs.

Neurohelm perspective
Neurohelm perspective deeeep, dude. deeeeep.

Oh neural interface and protective device, I just can’t quit you.

Neurohelm it's even labeled

I liked that helmet so much I drew it a couple more times.

Mechwarrior suit up and start a riot

If you’ve got GIANT MECHA, you need a PILOT. Those shoulder plates are hella dumb. I still like that helmet, which is also pretty dumb. But pretty anime.

Boiler plate mech
Boiler plate mech rivetplate is the new black

Went a little hog-wild with the dots, there. Retroooooooo!

Big autocannon mech
Big autocannon mech le boom

I was playing a lot of BattleTech at the time and one of the things I liked about that was that you could design your own builds. This is probably one of them.

Light mech
Light mech jus' a widdul bopper

I think of this thing as small, with the pilot’s pod somewhere in the chest, but it’s sure got a lot of stuff strapped to it which also belies being smol, to me. I will embrace the contradictions that probably no one else sees and hold them close to me in cherishment.

Dragonfly mech
Dragonfly mech flap harder!

Those things on its back are supposed to be a flight system reminiscient of the Guges-D models from Appleseed. This, however, is a full-scale mecha, standing a couple of stories tall at least.

Gigermech head smoothed
Gigermech head smoothed is that a sperm... whale?

This was a direct follow on to Gigermech head with an eye to adding some sinister smoothness. Honestly, it kinda looks like a whale. 🤷‍♀️

Gigermech head
Gigermech head meshed interests

Along with all the aforementioned influences in manga and anime, let’s toss in the xenomorphs from “Aliens”. What can I say, it works for me.

Dark soldier
Dark soldier helluva backlight, son

I was working on a silhouette? Sure.

Centaur mech
Centaur mech giddy-up

I played a lot of BattleTech at one point, alongside reading manga and watching anime like Robotech and Appleseed and The Five Star Stories. It all shows, any time I draw Mecca.

Under fluff
Under fluff heh...

They’re standing on a transparent flooring, I guess? I’ve always enjoyed the “dude? wtf, dude.” attitude they’re generating.

Dance fluff
Dance fluff the joy's in the toes

Let all creatures dance and rejoice in life so fleeting the stars turn and take no notice in their own eternal ballet

Racing fluff
Racing fluff maybe it's a hair dryer

Daaaaaaaaang… a fluff can move. Or that’s a pose in front of a hair dryer.

Plummet fluff
Plummet fluff landing is sorted, I hope

The emotional tension is more palpable in this one. I’ve never liked that sound effect rendering.

Panic fluff
Panic fluff they have eyes!

I suppose it’s not a surprise they have eyes, since Willis did. They don’t show up much in my renderings.

Leaping fluff
Leaping fluff sproing / dive

Which direction this fluff is moving and with what emotional tension is left to the observer. What do you see?

Kick fluff
Kick fluff collision of interests

At the time, I was very into Taekwondo and drawing these little fluffs. I will accept responsibility for the results.

Frazzled fluff
Frazzled fluff lowkey emoji mimic

We’ve all had this day. Here in July 2020, we’ve been having it since like early March 2020.

Flame fluff
Flame fluff unhappily irradiated

You might look like this too if you could survive this level of irradiation. Poor thing is positively glowing.

Eeek fluff
Eeek fluff the very picture of startlement

These fluff creatures were another phase. They are inspired by Willis as depicted on this cover of R.A. Heinlein’s Red Planet, so help me.

Mirrored nearly mirrored

omigosh something with some symmetry kinda sorta enh if you squint maybe?

Green_firebloom2 whoa a color2

Bone stock standard version of this idea. But in green!!

Green firebloom
Green firebloom whoa a color

It’s best we don’t dwell too much on what this resembles. Moving on…

Firebloom2 another one?!

Who’da thunk there would be like, a bunch of these variations on a theme. This is probably the simplest incarnation. Not the last! lol.

Firebloom whoosh

This is probably the primordial and perhaps ur-version of this form. It’s still not very interesting. Like I said, there are a lot of these.

Banner fly it proud

Yep. Whole lot of this sort of thing. I was pretty fascinated with these forms for a while.

Dimensional sizzlepopcrackboom

Impact betwixt the transmitters.

Blood splat
Blood splat splat in hi-def

There are rather a lot of variations on this theme. Bear with me. Or, you know, scroll on brave web browser.

Zombie grr arg tatertots

Crypt fashion at its absolute pinnacle of street cred.

Shambler Hair? Quils? Sure.

I rather like this one. Fight me.

Wyvern simplicity at its most mediocre

Elegant in its simplicity. Unremarkable in its everything.

Winged pink alien
Winged pink alien pink, winged, and GLORIOUS

…Looking back at the art generated during this time, I would think I was on a lot of drugs. But I wasn’t. At all. Anyway, have a thing.

Teacher snake alien
Teacher snake alien I would pay careful attention.

I would pay careful attention if this was Teacher. Clear influences here of that one comic book I read a lot in middle school the name of which I’m totally spacing.

Spooky figure
Spooky figure "Cult, assemble!"

That is a seriously improbable hood. No other comment at this time.

Sphere humanoid
Sphere humanoid unusually bally

Just some shaded spheres assembling into a humanoid shape. I’m sure it’s fine.

Small person
Small person smol so very small

Just a teeeeny mysterious figure with some very obvious Sandman influences, as you do.

Severed arm
Severed arm needs a bandage

Again posting only because I don’t hate these fingers. And to be honest about my morbid tendencies.

Odor_mutant deodorant isn't gonna cut it

Wow. If your pits stunk so hard that happened to your head, you’d yell too. But day-am, check his swole.

Martial mutant
Martial mutant Slashy McMohawkson

That is some reeeeeeeaaly translucent red “hair”.

Living tree
Living tree what it says on the bark

I saved this one purely because I don’t hate this hand.

Kosh-like unfinished danger

We’ve all seen Babylon 5, right? Vorlons are coooool.

Hunched monster
Hunched monster 'monster' is all in perspective

They look “monstrous” to us, but, hey, do we really have the moral high ground here? Let’s find a basis of common communication before we turn the Fighter lose.

High kick study
High kick study many as one

It can be useful to try out some alternatives right on top of each other.

High kick
High kick Faceless in uniform

I started Taekwondo when I was ~15. I was pretty excited when this drawing was a self study. Also, faces and digits are f’-ing hard to draw.

Headvolution Steps 1 - N

Sometimes you start out with an idea and wind up somewhere else.

Hay kid
Hay kid "Hey, kid."

Yep. It’s just that visual pun. Tip your server. Here all week.

Golems mud and sticks and magick

Yeah. So, I play a lot of ttrpgs. But just look at how happy this golem is.

Geron terriblest portmanteau

I wish I had a better capture of this one. The original might still be kicking around here somewhere, but then I’d have to look for it. Bah.

Flamming Stomper
Flamming Stomper happy moshing m-f'er

There was a rash of these radioactively happy dudes. At one point, I myself had a shirt just like that.

Devil mask
Devil mask what's red but isn't a tomato?

Apparently, this fuckin’ thing. Is red. And not a tomato.

Fido another cup won't help

I’ve never wanted a dog for a pet. This one is no exception, with its clear coffee addiction, notwithstanding the obvious attraction of it being an alien.

Eye in the mouth
Eye in the mouth doesn't seem evolutionarily sound

Clearly a Beetlejuice-influenced drawing.

Xenomorphy bug flexin'

This was probably drawn in the 1990’s, and I’d seen a few movies with similar things, probably. Whadyawant…

Bounce shroom
Bounce shroom ObSeemsLikeAFungi

I’ve never done mushrooms, but I went through an artistic period - demonstrated by this representative example - of drawing a lot of them. … i unno.

Darkmien dark of mien and thought

What a piece of work, is whatever this being is. No hint of feature is revealed by unreflected light.

Ancient evil helm
Ancient evil helm nasty piece of work, wot

Like a lot of teenagers from the 1980’s, I went through a phase of mashing motocross helmets together with other kinds of helmets. I think we all blame Mad Max.

Floating bot
Floating bot Just hangin' out.

Just hangin’ out. Looking kinda sinister. Maybe directing traffic, rescue services, or swarms of killbots. 🤷‍♀️

tentacles unnerving dexterity

It’s pronounced ‘TENT-ah-cleez’. Let’s assume it’s epically heroic. Why not.

Mooool-tee-baht so many

Lots of limbs with lots of uses.

Bubble bot
Bubble bot Bot on a bubble

It’s made of … bubbles? Sure. Ceramic, or, something.