I don’t entertain any delusion that I am a perfect interlocutor of how I came to be the person I have become, and I would gently challenge anyone who believes they perfectly know how they came to be who they are. Perhaps some of us do know, or know more than most but I don’t know that really we can objectively prove that to satisfaction.
While I reserve exception to thoroughly dissect those persons I find despicable for their cruelty, intolerance or greed, beyond that gentle, “Are you sure, love? Truly,” I’ll leave such assertions lay. I believe I’m a pretty tolerant person in general (though I can’t reinforce my previous caveat enough; the paradox of tolerance applies) and specifically one who understands that I’m not impacted in utterly any way by what sexual characteristics any someone has unless very specifically and locally I’m one of the people involved directly by sexual activity (we all like what we like, don’t want what we don’t, and are required not to be an asshole about either). It’s not that I’m not often interested in knowing all the details, but recognize I have no right to know and every responsibility of not allowing my curiosity about human choices and natures becoming nosy bothersomeness.
And I do know that my native capacity for empathy is somewhat lower than that born into others, and I struggled to make up for it for decades. I key off context clues much better than I used to, because I increasingly came to value being a good person and put effort into a practice of doing so. As a youth this started with recognizing that bullies are bad, and that good people are not bullies. This was evidenced for others as a deeply violent reaction to me personally being tormented by the same bully repeatedly. Did I like it when they bothered others? No. Did I get that I could and should do something about it? No.
Now I do. And I do.
So I’m a straight, white, middle-aged American dude who grew up in a Red state before choosing to make a life in a Blue one. And in the wake of U.S. Presidential election 2024, when you see trans folk who are making the choice to leave Red states for ones that actually recognize them as humans - which they unequivocally are and I will fight you about it if you disagree, where I’ll presume your ignorance at the start but if you demonstrate determined willful hatred I will bring the heat because I am not that sainted Black man who wins over KKK members and collects their cast off hoods - you can give them money which will help them do that. I have done that over the years and I did it this week. You can think also about who you know where they want to go to and put them in touch with those good people such are willing as a welcome committee, because communities and coalitions matter. Which is why you should extend these services - be thou able and willing and work to be both please - to all folks who are members of our present and/or future coalitions, prioritizing on risk but I will tell you now I also infuse whimsy (I don’t mean that flippantly), because while my personal resources are more than most, they are not infinite, and also I cannot hope to perfectly stack rank by need. I go with what speaks to me.
Anyway. Help folks out. It’s a good time for it, you can really make a positive impact on folks’ lives, and that feels pretty good. Caveat: Don’t tell people “move to a blue state”, that’s not helpful. They know that’s an option and they’re doing their own case analysis on economic viability of making the move, support of friends/family, health care, etc.. And if they come to “yes I would like help to do this” help them in the way that they ask for, if you can.
[Light updates for clarity: 2024-11-11T16:26:35-0800]