QAnon Is Bullshit And Also Maybe Scary

So, I took a three hour nap today. I didn’t mean to, but a month out from starting to regrow major bits of bone I still get pretty tired some afternoons. That’s all going great still. But I’m not here to talk about that. And believe me, I’d rather be talking about that, or posting more Bad Art, or doing some terrible fiction writing to inflict on you. But this is more important, because patriotism. No, really.

Let’s talk about QAnon.

That link is to a Wikipedia entry, which, I know, is not a primary source. I’ll get to some researchers in a while (but one of them, Travis View, is right there in the article).

It’s easy to dismiss QAnon as some hokey conspiracy theory cooked up by people living in their parent’s basements. I mean, it’s got all the classic hallmarks!

  • Secret global cabals! (pizzagate etc…)
  • Precious Bodily Fluids! (Adrenochrome)
  • Time travel!
  • Secret insiders!
  • Cryptic messages wildly open to interpretation!

So why are conspiracy theories we’ve been mocking and fearing since the 1960s (that was a loooong time ago!) suddenly so popular again?

My take* is because crap like this is the resort of the incompetent. Sure, you can field strip an assault carbine or do taxes real good, but if you are supporting this current American regime of autocratic fascists, then I susspeeeeect you are feeling some combination of:

  • Triumphant!
  • Real afraid!
  • Sure THEY! (THEM!) are Behind It All!
  • So Glad that Real Patriots (You’ve Never Met And Could Be Russian Bots)
  • A Little Bit Racist!
  • A True Servant Of God!

: and that means I’m concerned for you. I worry about your health in this trying time. I mean we’re all scared. It’s a scary time! That is a legitimate feeling, across the board what with the pandemic and the economy crashing and all.

Where my concerns continue is across the space occupied by the fears that make you think…

there is a worldwide cabal of Satan-worshiping pedophiles who rule the world, essentially, and they control everything. They control politicians, and they control the media. They control Hollywood, and they cover up their existence, essentially. And they would have continued ruling the world, were it not for the election of President Donald Trump. Now, Donald Trump in this conspiracy theory knows all about this evil cabal’s wrongdoing. But one of the reasons that Donald Trump was elected was to put an end to them, basically. And now we would be ignorant of this behind-the-scenes battle of Donald Trump and the U.S. military β€” that everyone backs him and the evil cabal β€” were it not for ‘Q.’ And what ‘Q’ is β€” is basically a poster on 4chan, who later moved to 8chan, who reveals details about this secret behind-the-scenes battle, and also secrets about what the cabal is doing and also the mass sort of upcoming arrest events through these posts.

…is a reasonable position! It is not! I’m sorry to be the one to tell you.

You “True Servants Of God!”? If y’all are that enthusiastic, it’s my experience you’re 1) not actually that thing 2) papering over some deep insecurities with Faith!.

About those “Real Patriots!”, they are shitposting from couch pillow bunkers. Guaranteed.

Feeling Triumphant Under Trump? “Fuck you, you sorry shit,” is pretty much all I got for ya. Better luck in your next life as a hamster pet to a sadistic five year old.


But I’ve diverged from the vector where I was talking to people about QAnon into talking to QAnon. Let me skew back and just leave a lot of breadcrumbs to both sets following this editorial comment:

QAnon is real bad, and now that there is a real danger of a QAnon caucus in the House next Congress (60+ former or current Congressional candidates publicly allied with QAnon thinking as of this writing, a few who are shoe-ins after the primaries in solidly Republican districts) and with a crop of LEO types FULL-ON for the (loony) cause, there is a real danger of a violent faction taking action whether or not Tromp45 loses the General election.

And that, friends, is not bullshit. The patriotic thing to do is take it seriously, vote against it, and try to point out the foundational fallacies to people who start showing signs.

* It’s a blahg! You’re on my blahg! If there is a better place to publish my very own take it does not exist.

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